Sunday, May 8, 2016

Mother's Day and other Musings

Today is Mother's Day.  I had expected to be in Minnesota surrounded by my dear hubby of 43+ years, my girls, my son-in-laws and my delightful grand children.  Sigh!  (REALLY BIG SIGH!!!)

But here I sit in this house that is mine on paper deed but not house of my heart.  That title is for the new family coming to live in it.  They are waiting excitedly and expectantly to make their own memories.  This is the house of their future.  The house of my past. Three more days.

Don't get me wrong.  I loved this house, this little house in the redwoods that grew to be a great, big, beautiful house in the redwoods.  Only 2 bedrooms when we came, it was in an up and coming, desirable neighborhood on an huge, extra large lot with redwood trees, ferns and all of the trappings of a forest.  We raised kids and chickens and loved every minute,  We added on, remodeled, painted, removed walls, added bathrooms, tile and more to turn that little fixer-upper into a dream house.  But our dream here is over and we're now dreaming of a farm in Minnesota, surrounded by our family.  We are ready to start a new adventure. To begin the rest of our lives, perhaps the best of our lives.

Back to Mother's Day.  Mr. Scottie Dog thought I should have lobster for Mother's Day dinner.  My favorite food.  No one can grill lobster like Mr. Scottie Dog!  If I couldn't be with my kids that lobster dinner certainly helped make up for it.

 One reason I keep going on about that lobster is we've been busy cleaning out the refrigerator and cupboards.  We will be moving into our trailer for a week and then off to Minnesota.  So we need to eat it up or throw it out.
I found a home for some of our pantry items but who wants three-quarters of a bag of corn meal of questionably age?  A half-eaten jar of orange marmalade?  That semi-used bottle of sesame oil I bought that time I made a Thai dish?  I know, I know  First World Problem.  We have too much stuff, too much food, too much...well not too much love.  This I know!

I've been in limbo for a long time, waiting to get the show on the road, the car in gear, to shove off for Minnesota.  On Friday I realized I have not allowed myself to think of one of the costs of moving after a lifetime in one place.  I made a FaceBook post and someone commented (it was you, Geri, my friend).  Just a little comment.  And as I read it, I burst into not just tears but all-out blubbering, sputtering, deep gut wrenching sobbing.  I am moving away.  I am moving away from the friends from my entire adult life.  I moved here to Humboldt County California as a starry-eyed 20 year-old bride.  850 miles away from my family and childhood friends.  Here I forged the family of my heart, raised my children (and buried two of them).  Here I grew up. I accomplished many things I am proud of. Here I made precious life-long friends. I will deeply miss all of you.....please, please come visit us in Minnesota.


Carol E. said...

Aww, such a bittersweet thing... and has been so long and drawn out. It will be GREAT when you're finally here and (somewhat) settled!!!

Tanya said...

Well, for us in Blogworld we are with you whether you are in California or in Minnesota! Hang in there!